Cool Girl Syndrome at 35,000 Feet

(a.k.a. The Lazy Chaiii Guide to In Flight Glamour and Sanity)

Some people board planes like they're going to war. We? We board them like it’s Paris Fashion Week and we’re the reason the pilot’s distracted. Here’s how to survive long haul flights when you’re soft, spoiled, and tragically existential at 30,000 feet.

Before Boarding: Romanticize It Like It’s the Prologue

The flight hasn’t even started, but you already set the tone: main character with a scent trail.

• Fresh manicure: pick a colour that says “yes I cried watching Before Sunrise again” (sheer ballet pink or a clean girl french).

• AirPods in, Goop podcast on: you’re now absorbing delusional advice from Gwyneth in preparation to transcend.

• Longchamp tote essentials: passport(s), Étoile Isabel Marant sweater, AD + Vogue (because airport bookstores understand you, Slip silk eye mask, Clinique face mist + Laneige lip sleeping mask, Light pink Moleskine or notebook for poetic thoughts and delusional life plans at gate B14.

In-Flight: Float, Don’t Fight

You are no longer a mortal. You are a floating ghost in a Celine campaign. Float gracefully.

• Layer your look: think cashmere scarf + oversized cardigan + fuzzy socks. You are chic and cozy.

• Avoid airplane food unless you’re starving or emotionally fragile: instead eat chocolate covered raspberries, drink water like you’re prepping for a facial, and maybe nibble on a protein bar that looks Swedish.

• Skincare as a ritual: mist, Laneige, hand cream, eye mask and a whispered prayer to your future self.

• Noise cancelling on. Life drama off: listen to the most recent Goop episode or ambient soundscapes that make you feel like you’re in a Dior Homme campaign from 2007.

• Write: journal something unhinged. Write letters to people you’ll never send. Plan your rebrand.

• Sleep like you’re in a five-star suite: silk mask. Meditative playlist. Eye patches optional but encouraged.

Upon Arrival: Walk Like You Just Inherited a Chateau

• Spritz perfume. Redo lip balm. Stretch like a spoiled ballerina.

• You survived turbulence, dry cabin air, and someone snoring in 16B. You deserve café au lait and a soft croissant.

• You didn’t just land, you arrived.

  
  

Final Boarding Call

Flying long haul isn’t just about getting there, it’s a cinematic experience, a moodboard in motion, a soft reset at 38,000 feet. You’re not just a passenger, you’re the plot. The fantasy. The kind of girl who leaves a bit of perfume in the seatbelt and a handwritten note in her pink notebook.

Next time you're curled up by the window with your silk eye mask and your chocolate covered raspberries, remember: the world isn’t ready for the version of you that lands.

Bon voyage, chaiii. See you in a dreamier timezone. 

xxx, The Lazy Chaiii